Crackpots
by wildmagesapprentice
Summary: Giddon's lovesick. Apparently everyone is a mind reader. Oh dear.


The first time she hears about it is at dinner with Po, Raffin and Bann, Katsa having travelled to the Dells and Giddon sorting out some business in Sunder for at least two weeks. In the midst of light hearted teasing over Po's dramatic farewell with Katsa the week before, Bitterblue had ventured a comment to which Po had retorted "Well, Beetle, perhaps you wouldn't be so cynical if you'd only give Giddon the send off his lovesick heart longs for!"

The table had gone awkwardly silent. Suddenly, an airborne bean struck Po on the forehead. "Idiot." Announced Raffin, seemingly the force that had launched the miraculous bean. "Po imagines that because he can read minds, everyone else must be equally perceptive."

"Giddon? Lovesick?" Bitterblue felt her eyes had turned to saucers, and that her face must be the colour of a tomato.

Bann winced. "Well, not exactly-"

"He is a bit." Raffin countered.

"Horses." Announced Po, rather obscurely.

Bitterblue turned to him in complete bafflement. "What?"

"Giddon is with the horses. He's just returned. And now he's coming here to find us. And everyone says I'm the mind reader!" Po snorted.

Bitterblue jumped from her chair and ran.

*

Minutes later she came crashing into her room, breathless from her flight. "Helda, does Giddon love me?" She demanded.

Helda set down her knitting and pursed her lips at the Queen's brash entry. "Well, from what I've observed he does seem very fond of you. I suppose you could call it love. He has done an awful lot for you in the time since you've had his acquaintance."

Bitterblue stared at her, mouth agape. "But love, Helda? Love?"

Helda sniffed. "Well honestly, Lady Queen. I've never known the like of you and Katsa to surround yourself with young men and yet be so startled that they should admire you!"

In response, Bitterblue threw her hands into the air and stalked off to her room

*

Once in her room she threw herself onto her bed, burying her face in her pillow with a groan. Giddon? In love with her? But Giddon was Giddon! He lived to irritate Katsa and he had chosen the council over his wealth even after his estate was destroyed by Randa, and he was the one person she told the truth to. She rolled over to stare at her bedside table, picking at the varnish. He was supposed to tell her the truth too, it was their arrangement. So if she asked him, he'd have to be honest. Giddon. Would it be such a bad thing to be admired by him? Her heart fluttered at the thought of him holding her as he had a hundred times, kisses on hands becoming kisses on the face and lips and- She sighed. She hadn't thought of anyone in that way since Saf. She hadn't had time, mostly, but it was also that their relationship had felt like a special, fragile thing that would be betrayed somehow were she to immediately go gallavanting with someone else. But it had been years since she'd last seen him. Saf had made his choice, he wasn't coming back. And it had taken time, but Bitterblue was at peace with that.

Would loving Giddon be such a bad thing?

If he didn't love her, Bitterblue thought it would be. But if he did… there was no shame in crawling when one couldn't walk, and there was no shame in loving someone you trusted and who loved you. How different it would be to love Giddon than Saf. And how different such a love would be to that of Katsa and Po, or Raffin and Bann. Bitterblue didn't think she minded that.

Voices came from her sitting room; calm, soft voices, and then Helda appeared in her room with her arms folded over her soft stomach. "Lord Giddon, here to see you." She raised an eyebrow and Bitterblue flushed, jumping up from her bed. _Po's certainly not the only mind reader,_ she thought darkly. "Yes, thank you Helda. Tell him I'll be with him presently."

*

"Lady Queen." Giddon's face broke into a smile as she entered the room.

"Giddon." She couldn't help the answering smile that appeared on her face as she he crossed to him, kissed his cheek. "I thought we might walk in the garden."

He offered his arm with only the smallest quirk of an eyebrow. "Good idea."

The walk to the gardens did a little to ease her anxieties and racing pulse. It was only Giddon, for heavens sake! They talked of their friends and his journey and her development (with the help of the Dellians) of a hospital that would specialise in mental health in the same way many specialised in types of physical illness, the first of its kind in the Seven Kingdoms. Easy conversation, even though she found herself watching his every move, assessing his reactions to see if she could spy what was seemingly obvious to everyone else. Had he always treated her like that? Giddon was Giddon.

"This is absurd." She stopped suddenly, having almost walked straight through a patch of rhododendrons. "Giddon."

"Yes, Lady Queen?" He turned to look at her, eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Are you in love with me?"

He looked shocked at first. Then he flushed, and she wondered if she'd crossed a line. His eyes softened, resting on her face. "Lady Queen-"

"Bitterblue." She insisted.

"Bitterblue, we promised to always tell the truth to one another. So, yes. I love you. How could I not? You're so kind, and intelligent and you've treated me so well in all the time we've known eachother. You care for people, which is not something that can be said for most rulers, and I've dealt with a few."

She snorted at that, and he grinned. Then his face grew serious again. "Bitterblue. I love you. But I have nothing to offer, no estate or lands or fortune, only myself. You are a Queen and must marry a man who does have these things."

"Giddon, do shut up." She reached up and touched his cheek. "I have more than enough lands and money. Far more than I can make use of! I've considered giving some away, to charitable organisations." She paused for a moment, thinking. "I would never want to impose on you, and I know the loss of your estate is not something I could fix or replace, and I wouldn't like to cause offense by suggesting I can… but what if I offered you a Monsean Lordship?"

He looked as if he was going to interrupt, so she held up a hand to silence him. "This isn't something I'm saying on a whim. It would be practical! You all spend so much time here with your plots and council work, so why shouldn't you have a permanent base? It would seem far less suspicious than all of you convening in my castle each time you wish to bring down a monarchy! You and Po are always going on about my safety, you can't tell me this wouldn't help!"

"Bitterblue-"

"I know it's not perfect. And I know it can't replace your estate, oh how I wish Randa hadn't destroyed it! But you could have a permanent home here, beyond the reach of any of the Kings where you could plot all kinds of mischief."

"Bitterblue-"

"We could find your people, and they could work for you again, and it wouldn't be the same I know but you'd all be safe because I could protect them too." She sighed, rubbing her temples. "You must think me a selfish child. I'm sorry, Giddon. I meant no offence. I simply thought it might be the solution to a great many problems. I'm sorry if I've offended your pride."

Giddon bent and kissed her on the forehead, took her hands. "I'm afraid I have very little pride left to offend. I shall consider it. I won't say no or yes at this moment, because it's a lot to think about. But I'm grateful for your generosity."

She gave him a small smile, then sighed, realising she'd still not said what she meant to. "Giddon-"

"Hm?"

His eyes were kind and he was gentle and solid before her, his thumbs rubbing circles on the backs of her hands. Bitterblue made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat and then, bouncing onto her toes, she kissed him. His lips were soft as they moved against hers, and she could feel the stubble of his beard. Kissing Giddon was nothing like kissing Saf. He was gentler, more assured. She liked it. And then it dawned on her what she was doing.

"Oh. Goodness." Bitterblue stepped back, steadying herself with a hand on his arm. "Giddon. Forgive me."

He took her hand and brought it to his lips. "There is nothing to forgive."

"I suppose what I mean to say is… the feeling is mutual. That is, I'm not opposed. To you loving me, I mean. I find myself flattered, actually. Are you sure?"

"Sure?"

"That you love me."

His mouth twisted in amusement. "Bitterblue. I am sure of nothing else."

"I see. She nodded thoughtfully. "Well." He still held her hand.

"Lady Queen-" he said, but it was different when Giddon said it. "Lady Queen, I should like to kiss you again."

"I think I might be open to that, Lord Giddon."

"Not a Lord." He muttered and then his lips were on hers.


End file.
